Okay this is probably my fifth attempt at writing an entry today. Thats the one bad thing about keeping an online journal. Sometimes there are system errors and gay shit like that.

Today was a happy day.

Shit I am kind of annoyed. I wrote all those entries earlier and most of them were good entries too. Now I am sitting here staring at the screen and I don't have anything to write. Someone told me to try to rewrite them. I don't think I could do that. I would look back at them and sort of cringe because I know what I wrote earlier was so much better. Mostly because of the fact that when I wrote it I felt a certain way. Time progressed and I feel different, therefore I could not write about the subject with the same passion I held before.

I miss Derek. I know I thought that by only seeing him once a week would be a good thing for us. I mean we were together everyday and I lost friends so did he. I figured time away and with friends would be a good thing, as long as I still got to see him. But I miss him. I just wish we would actually go and do something. I know neither of us have money, and it is nice falling asleep with him on the couch. But I wish I could go to the bar with him and I wish he would come skiing with me or to the mall with me. I just know I miss him and wish I could spend this week with him.

then || now

9:51 p.m. || 03.16.03