I have been wanting to write a lot lately. I just haven't had the engery.

I'm leaving for new york tomorrow. I don't really want to go that badly, a whole week with my family. I mean its april vacation I want to stay home and hang out with people. but no, I have to spend an entire week with my parents.

things over all are going pretty well. I'll be eighteen in a few weeks, I'm getting my belly button peirced and my ears. I'll be able to go to the club and the bar and finally be able to stay out later then 11. I hope my parents aren't to bad. I hope they understand they need to let me go.

Easter today. It's kind of weird, I was thinking about all the easters in the past. I mean I used to get all excited to wear my pretty mew dress and my white sandals. I bought the same style white sandals every year. I remember when it was getting close to easter time I was always so excited because I knew I owuld be getting a new pair of my favorite white sandals. Then I would be toutured having to stare at those sandals because I wasn't alowed to wear them until easter morning. And I remember how excited I was to finally wear them, and how dirty they had gotten by the end of the summer.

I'm not really sure when I stopped buying those white sandals. I'm not even sure how I felt not to buy them. I guess I grew up, changed my style, didn't care about those sandals anymore. But now i think back on it and I miss those sandals. I miss waking up extra early in order to see what the easter bunny left in my basket. Running around to find all the eggs hidden and always having the toughest time finding the last egg.

Now I wake up as late as possible. My parents still put out a basket for me. but it is not the same. I feel almost foolish peeking into the basket. There aren't any more eggs however. and I am almost posistive this will be the last basket I get. I'm not really sad about not getting a basket. I'm sad about not getting that feeling I used to get easter morning, or any other special morning for that matter.

then || now

7:53 a.m. || 04.20.03