I don't know what's wrong with me. I really want to update but maybe I am to lazy. I stare at this screen and I think about what I am going to write. Maybe thats it. Maybe I am thinking about this way to much.

Well I don't have anything meaningful to write about so I think I'll recap a little bit.

One of my best friends boyfriend just brok up with her, she is a mess but she is handling it very well. This girl and I used to be very close. We were at each others house every day, always sleeping at each others, always doing retarded things that no one else but us would find funny. I mean around school neither of us are known seperatly, because we are one at school, inseperabe. Unfortunatly both of us got boyfriends and we sort of grew up, eventually we saw less and less of each other till it was basically just seeing each other in school. We are still known together and not as one. But beside being in school that was all. We never hung out on weekends and barely at all during the summer. I missed her a lot, and I'm not balming any of this on her because I know I am just as much at fault because I also have a boyfriend and also gave up a lot for him.

But now things are changing. I've changed. I love being with Derek but I don't need to be with him every second of the day anymore. I've been hanging out with my friends a lot more and he's been doing the same. And I'm being a good girlfriend I don't get mad at hime anymore for goig out, because I have friends besides him now.

Well now this friend and I have been hanging out a lot more lately and it kind of seems we have gotten back to the way we were. I hope it does I miss us a lot. We've already hung out once and we are hanging out again all day thursday (going to get a sandwich, tanning, shopping and to the gym) then snow boarding friday. I'm so glad I hope it stays like this I really do. I'm glad things cahnged this way, I know she is hurting I know shes in pain but maybe things will work out for the better and hopefully things stay like this with us. We should have never gotten as far as we did and I hope it never happens again.

I have such a positive out look and right now all things (except one unmentionable thing) are going very well. I hope things stay positive!

then || now

11:05 p.m. || 03.10.03