People percieve themselves in all different ways. I mean someone I see as gorgeous, someone I wish I could look like, could think that they are the ugliest person in the world. Now I am not trying to sound concieted here, but people have told me I am good looking, people tell me all these wonderful things I nod smile and thank them politly, inside my head thinking "do they really know who they are saying this about" I mean I do not see myself as anything exceptional at all if anything I see myself as average. I don't put on a hundred lbs. of makeup, but I do take care of myself. I look in the mirror and maybe I do not see the ugliest person in the world on the outside. But then people are always saying its not whats on the outside that counts and I think of myself that way, the phsyical apperance disapears and I am no longer okay looking.

now heres a 180 change in subject. I hung out with my erin tonight. Lots of fun even though we didn't do much, it was cool just to chill with someone I haven't chilled with in a while I miss my old friends. it makes me think of graduation.

It's kind of sad to think that after May 31st I am probably only going not to see more then 1/2 of the people at connolly unless I bump into them by accident at the mall or wherever. It's sad how in my last year at connolly I find myself talking to people I have never spoken to before, and liking it. I mean all my years there and I have almost secluded myself from certain people. Judging them by their apperances. I guess I shouldn't have done that and wasted these four years, because in three months it will all become a bittersweet memory.

then || now

11:45 p.m. || 02.28.03