I want to update but really I am way to tired to even think. It takes way to much effort to type and to think about what to type. To sort out all of the things that are running through my head. I hate it.

Kind of aggravated that plans for today didn't work out. I mean I guess I was sort of looking forward to today all week. Then I try to make plans and no one cooperates, everyone wants to do something different, and in the end what do we end up doing? lets see. nothing.

I want to write I really do. My fingers are just way to cold to keep typing it kind of hurts.

Ever wonder how you look to other people. Is the reflection I see in the mirror what everyone else sees too. I really wonder sometimes how people percieve me to be. Does my personality ever change how people see me. I mean there are some people I can think of who are absolutly gorgeous, but I could never consider myself with them because they are truly ugly (that and of course the fact that I am not single). Do people ever see me like that. I hope not.

But then again do people know who I really am. I mean I put on this smile and walk through the halls at school, people say hello, I say hello back. I laught sometimes when people try to give me advice. because sometimes they really do not know me and yet they are trying to give my advice on what they think they know

There are only a few poeple that I can count on one hand that I have really ever had an intelligent conversation with, and most of the time for no apparent reason. I wish more people would show their intellectual side.

I hate people who are completly fake. There are a few I can mention but I am not going to be petty enough to so that. But I hate how they can talk so much shit to people about you, then turn around and say "Nikki! I love you soooo much! we should hang out soon! give me a call sometime! I miss you!" then not even two seconds later turn to someone and mouth "I can't stand her" Oh you have gotta love fake people. I know I stay as far as I can away from them. Besides half of the time fake people have almost the same amount of brain power as, lets see, my hamster. By the way did I mention my hamster eats woodchips, and licks himself for fun?

then || now

9:39 p.m. || 03.02.03