I wish I had a later curfew. I mean for instances like tonight. Huge party and when do I have to be home? 11. go me! maybe I can push for 11:30 but thats as late as I'm gonna get. People aren't even getting there till 10:30ish. So it's not even enough time to have any fun. That kinda aggravates me. But hey I'm almost 18 soon I'll be able to stay out till whenever. I can't wait. and I can't wait to go away to school, leave everything behind.

I've been hanging around with more of my friends lately and I like it a lot. I mean I used to seclude myself to a small group of people. But now I don't mind hanging around with a bunch of people I barely know. Granted I am not going to spill my whole life story but I am willing to hold a conversastion with them.

I've been holding a lot in lately. I mean it's not like I am about to burst and need to get it all out. But sometimes I feel like I am living a lie. I know how I feel inside I know what should be done but I smile, I put on a happy face and cover what I know and continue living this way because honestly I am afraid of the outcome. right now life is content why should I fuck with contentness right?

then || now

8:43 p.m. || 03.01.03